Upon Waking My Firstborn Son

Blood Ties: Fatherhood - Part 1

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There is a happy joyful glee that springs upon his face

Father! awareness brightly dawning ‘ere he slowly wakes

Our breaking sun emerges from the far horizon line

Once stunning us in splendour now routine, time after time

Christ give me the fortitude and a will for memory

That I not forget nor shun my son’s rising morning smile

         Which he freely gives to me

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Taking care of a newborn is way harder than I thought it would be. There were many moments, in those first 6 weeks, first 4 months, where I wished we could be in the future. Past these brutal hours of no sleep, crying, swearing, fighting. I had to learn to not wish away the time. To be present in difficult moments as well as peaceful ones. I began my journey of appreciating poetry during this time, as I wasn’t able to concentrate or find the time to read longer works, I read poetry, thankful that it could be consumed in small bursts. In the collection Poems That Make Grown Men Cry: 100 Men on the Words That Move Them, edited by Anthony & Ben Holden, I began to expand my appreciation for various authors. Coleridge’s Frost at Midnight struck me, and as the collection promised, I did cry at the following stanza:

Please read the whole poem, it is wonderful.

My favourite part of this favourite stanza is in his aspiration for the child to learn ‘far other lore, and in far other scenes’. Growing, surpassing. The italics of thou seems such a modern and human emphasis; reminding me that this poem was written indeed by a father who felt true things and wanted it to be know deeply.

There is much else to be gleaned in the theology Coleridge includes at the end, but I won’t deprive you of the chance to think about it yourself.

Thanks for reading.